Limiting beliefs are thoughts or perceptions that you hold about yourself and the world around you, which hinder your ability to achieve your goals and desires. When it comes to finding love, limiting beliefs can significantly impact your ability to form meaningful connections with others.
Here are some common limiting beliefs that can hold someone back from finding love:
1. Relationships are unsafe- A lot of our limiting beliefs on romantic relationships and love are built from watching our parent’s marriage our whole life. We know we have nothing to do with their encounter. There seemed to be just such a destructive force – that two people could not prevent each other from emotionally escaping until there was nothing left.
2. Emotional Vulnerability is dangerous- Being physically naked with someone has never been a problem for us, we can take off our clothes and take them from skin to skin. However, the idea of putting ourselves emotionally naked freaked us out.
3. The ones I like don’t like me back/I’m scared of rejection- All of us have a different love definition. It is obvious that you won’t find the one on the first go. That doesn’t mean we should not go out there and try.
4. No one understands me- It is normal to have different opinions, different opinions lead to conflicts and arguments, and that leads to a feeling of disappointment and unintelligibility. Give time to the other person to know us better.
5. Holding on to the pain/emotional abuse so I will never allow it to happen again- Most of us have had bad relationship experiences in the past, but that doesn’t mean we hold that pain inside us and do not give life another chance. It is like falling while learning to ride a bicycle, we didn’t stop after we fell the first few times, then why in relationships?
6. Successful, loving relationships didn’t exist- We watch & learn from our parent’s marriage & every other relationship we had access to viewing while growing up. So we could avoid emotional harm at any cost. We will circumnavigate it with accuracy. So, when we saw that most relationships around us failed — we figured what the point was.
7. Trading my autonomy- Our freedom is not at stake in our relationship. You can not do what you want in a relationship – this idea is wrong. Relationships are a balance between love and freedom. Balanced relationships are always based on freedom, not obligation.
8. Won’t find what I want from a person— so I will end up disappointed anyway- Maybe our ideas were too extreme?
For the ladies out there, you internalized someone that engaged their minds and challenge them — aroused them with intelligence. Give them multiple orgasms. Have lengthy discussions about everything and nothing. Speak in lyrics, make them laugh and be their best friend.
And for the guy, we internalized, a perfect figure like a Bollywood actress, who agrees with us at all times, cooks well, handles kids and manages the home perfectly.
— why bother?
We have to realise, unicorns were extinct, and we have to be cool with it.
9. I am not good enough- We all struggle with some insecurities related to our physical appearance and financial status. It is easy for us to accept that we do not fit the standards of people in magazines and on Social Media so that we won’t find love. And we started believing that.
These beliefs are limiting you from achieving what is possible for yourself or what you will allow in your life.
These beliefs are also keeping you from taking action to experience new love and intimacy.
No doubt they are developed in response to the things that have happened in your past. At some point in your life, these beliefs served a valid purpose but now most likely no longer serve a legitimate purpose other than to keep you playing small.